Yeah, I Freaked Out!

Oh my goodness, can it possible be the middle of October already??? I don’t know where my time or motivation has gone to, but it’s definitely not here!

So first of all, let me apologize for my horrible lack of posts these past months. But as October is coming to an end, (well soon anyway) I am hoping that my schedule will lend some time to share a story with you every now and then.

I have to ask though,

Am I the only mom out there who is completely scatterbrained? Seriously I can’t tell you how many times lately I have found myself hopelessly confused and frustrated.

What is going on right now?

Who has soccer??

You have to be where???

Wait, did I ever feed you????

When you have a large family there are so many things you have to keep track of, that some days it’s hard to focus on anything. I know all you Mommas out there know exactly what I’m talking about!

Then, let’s add on to that every day hectic life:

Extracurricular activities.

Don’t get me wrong, I love that my kids are involved but it does tend to ramp up the crazy level.

 Just a bit!

So a few weeks ago, I’m trying to get everyone ready to leave for soccer practice; while simultaneously making sure we have SOME kind of dinner ready when we get back.

NO ONE is listening to me, everyone is missing a shin guard or sock, and I’m starting to lose my tempter.

(Ok, that is a gross understatement! I’m losing my mind!)

I’m yelling and dragging kids to the car and we FINALLY get on the road.

Then, what do I hear from the back seat???

I don’t have any shoes!

You can probably guess what happened next…

I slam on the breaks pull over and “calmly” respond,

WHAT??? DID YOU JUST SAY YOU DONT HAVE ANY SHOES????!!!!

This is one of the kids that actually has to play soccer, so obviously this is not going to work!

We are already late and I’m really REALLY trying not to lose my grip, but I’m not doing so well! NOW I have turn around???

I’m still scolding and irritated at everyone, but we finally get dressed, correctly, and get back on the road. By some miraculous intervention, (not really 😂) we actually make it to the field on time.

But here’s the fun part….

I drive up to the parking lot and it’s empty…

Completely empty!

There is not one soul at that soccer field!

…….

Umm wait a minute!

I check my texts, (normally I do this BEFORE I LEAVE!)

Uhhhh yeah guys…..

There is no soccer today!

My kids look at me like I’m crazy!

Are you serious Mom!??? What the heck??

Then, my daughter asks,

 

Can we not tell anyone you did this??

We all start laughing and I begin my apologies….

Well guys, I’m sorry for freaking out on you.

For NO reason at all!

Let’s just go eat!

Life goes on and I don’t think there are any lasting effects from my freak out!

But note to self ….ALWAYS check schedules before you leave for ANYTHING!

Also, chill out already! It’s not the end of the world if you’re late to something! You have five kids for goodness sakes! Give yourself (and your kids) a break, It’s not worth the freak out.

But if YOU freaked out today, just know you’re in good company! Don’t forget to apologize if it’s needed; but sometimes, no matter how many slow breaths you take, it’s just unavoidable! Life is crazy and sometimes kids are buttheads!

Oh, did I say buttheads??? I mean perfect little angels! 😝

What Atmosphere Am I Setting in My Home?

Love is Patient and kind.

Love is not jealous or proud or rude.

It does not demand it’s own way.

It is not irritable and it keeps no record of being wronged.

It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is ALWAYS hopeful, and endures through EVERY CIRCUMSTANCE.

13-Now these three things will last forever-Faith, Hope and Love-and greatest of these is    LOVE. (1 Corithians 13:4-7, 13)

 

 

So lately,  there has been A LOT of fighting in our home. Brothers and sisters fight, and I get that, but there always comes a point when I know….something has to change! 

So at bed time I got out the old, trusty 1 Corinthians 13 and planned on giving them a good “smack down” with the word.  But as we began reading it together God decided to smack me around as well.

Gently of course…but it hurt none the less!

I began to read, love is patient and kind…

And as I’m trying to encourage my kids to think about their behavior I heard Him asking,

But what about YOUR behavior?

Ok, I thought.

But Lord, do you have ANY idea how hard it is to be patient with kids as they disrespect you to your face, or completely ignore everything you say???

Yes, Lexie…I do.

Oh.

OK so then I got to the part that says…It is not irritable.

I thought,

Ouch! I don’t even want to go there!

I think some days I emanate irritability! 

The other day, my kids were all eating Pringles…

Do you have any idea what it sounds like when five kids are eating Pringles????

CRUUNNNCCHHHH, CRRUUNNNNCHHHHH

I’m not exaggerating, I completely lost control and yelled..

I swear to God! If you don’t learn how to eat those right…I’M NEVER BUYING THEM AGAIN!!!

Of course that was probably an empty threat, but they all looked at me with those big scared eyes as they slowly and carefully put chips into their mouths.

Thank God He isn’t irritable, because we would all be dead!

So as I sat there reading this scripture, I began to realize that the problem doesn’t only lie with my Children.

Yes, there are definitely some attitudes that need to change, and some disciplines that need to be carried out;

BUT I AM THE ONE WHO SETS THE ATMOSPHERE IN OUR HOME.

Yes fellow mommy, we have that responsibility as well!! Isn’t that wonderful??

And you know what? It’s not easy…. it’s not easy at all!

There are days when hormones and circumstances are very real; when the only Atmosphere I really want to set is…

Get the heck away from me!!

Don’t touch me!

And for the love of God, STOP EATING CHIPS!!!

I know that sounds horrible, but every mother has been there at some point. And in those overwhelming moments of hormone induced frustrations, the last thing we want to do is patiently discipline our children in love!

But that is exactly what God has called us to do…love.

Now I can hear you saying,

But I do love my kids!

I love them more than anything!

This has nothing to do with whether or not I LOVE my kids!

That’s what I told myself too, but if I LOVE them, then it’s my responsibility to show them what real love looks like.

Love is patient and kind,

Love is not jealous or proud or rude.

It does not demand it’s own way.
It is not irritable and it keeps no record of being wronged.

It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is ALWAYS hopeful, and endures through EVERY CIRCUMSTANCE.

So in those moments when I find myself in the middle of a battle,

(this happens more than you may think… Like every day!)

I will take a step back and ask myself,

Is this the atmosphere I am setting in my home?

Oh trust me, there will be plenty of discipline to go around! But when my attitude stinks….so do theirs!

 

I’m sorry to be the truth bringer here, but they act like we do. Oh Crap!

If you are completely walking in love, then you are awesome! If none of these words smack you in the face, then you are a much better person than me.

But, if you find yourself a little sore from the chastisement of the word, don’t worry, You’re in good company! Let these words resonate in your heart as we all head into this summer vacation; a time when we should be enjoying the extra time with our kids, not screaming like a crazy person every day! 😂

I can’t promise you that I won’t scream every now and then, but Lord help me set the right atmosphere on my home. Help me to show my children what real love is…Gods love.

Come on Mamma! We’ve Got this! 👊🏻

Let the summer begin!

It’s Ok to be Silly!

Look at these faces!

I LOVE these faces! 

I love their goofy personalities, their giggles and how they can bring such joy to my life.

I tried to get a pretty “put-together” photo that day, looking for the perfect smiles and getting so frustrated when they weren’t standing the way that I wanted them to.

Then finally I said,

Alright! Goofy faces everyone!

And WA-LAH!

Obviously, my kids know how to make goofy faces!

But every time I look at this picture I think….

How often have I taken away a sweet memory because I was so worried about appearances? Have I stifled my children’s personalities at times because other people may think them silly and childish?

Wait a minute…they are children!

Before I continue, let me make this clear….

We do NOT condone bad behavior, and we teach our kids how to behave in public. 

I hate it when we as parents use the “Kids will be kids” as an excuse to let them act however they want! I’m definitely not talking about that!

But just recently I took them out for ice cream and we ended up sitting outside at sonic. I don’t remember what my kids were laughing about, but whatever it was, it was VERY funny! There were goofy faces and silly sounds going on, and at first I was so embarrassed that I was about to pack up my kids and leave.

Then it suddenly hit me…they aren’t doing anything wrong.

They are not being disrespectful or bothering anyone. We are outside….at Sonic.

So you know what I did? I laughed right along with them, and I loved it!

Then I thought about my childhood, and I realized that some of my favorite memories are the silly ones….

• When our mom would tuck us in with tickles, silly games and made up songs.
• The time my sister flung potatoes at our brother, and it hit the window instead!
• When I dressed our younger brother up like a rockstar, and made him lip sing to the Newsboys while I videotaped him! (Gosh! I totally have to find that video!)
• When my mom dumped water all over that same brother’s head…just because!
• When we had the WORST vacation ever, with a broken down van, cows on the camp ground and my dad burning his hand trying to put out the camp fire. In stead of being upset and creating bad memories, My dad wrote a funny song that we all sang together and I honestly don’t think any of us will ever forget that “Kiefer Vacation”.

(As a side note, when we as parents are having a hard time, if we find the joy in the stressful moments, that’s what our kids will remember. It won’t be….

That time we had a horrible vacation and Mom and Dad dragged us all over Gods creation!

Instead it will be…

Hey remember that time we stayed at that funny camp ground with the cows and you wrote that song? That was so fun!)

The Bible says in Psalms 17:22,

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

As I read this scripture I thought,

Am I the kind of Mother who brings out the joyful hearts of my children? Or have I at times, crushed their spirit? Making them feel bad or wrong, when they are just expressing their joyful hearts.

Am I sometimes, so busy “Being a Mom”, that I forget to be a mom?

Too often I forget to have fun with my kids, to let them laugh and be silly; to tickle them at bed time and chase them around the house.

Some of us have this idea that our kids should be “little adults”, but they will never get these years back….so let them be kids!

Let them know, It’s ok to be a little weird sometimes!

It’s ok to laugh until milk comes out your nose!

It’s ok have pillow fights and games of tag that last for months!

This is happening in our house with their Dad, and It’s pretty funny to watch! Why is it that Dad’s get to have all the fun though?

I want to be the kind of mom who makes those fun memories with her kids. A mom who puts down the phone, lets the dishes sit for a bit, and enjoys these years while we have them.

I want my children to know how to behave appropriately yes, but even more so I want them to know how to laugh; to smile every day and to enjoy this beautiful life they are given.

And I hope that they NEVER forget….

It’s ok to be silly! ❤️

 

 

The BEST Kale Shake, For Those Who Don’t Love Kale!

Honestly, if you love Kale  you may like this as well! I have nothing against Kale lovers, but I have tried eating it by itself and….yuck! But I know how important it is to get those dark leafy greens into your diet, so I have tried many different ways to incorporate them into our daily eating habits.

(My children actually love green smoothies! With lots of fruit and yogurt of course…which may defeat the purpose!)

This shake also works well with spinach, or even both if you would prefer, but I have been keeping it to Kale during my 30 day challenge.

(That “30 Day Challenge” post got erased somehow, but I have been challenging myself to work out for 30 days without slacking off! So far so good! My body is adjusting and I can finally walk up and down the stairs again! Woohoo!)

So this has been my lunch every day, and I actually really enjoy it! It’s much more filling than you would think and is really quite satisfying. (Seriously! I’m not lying!)

So, I’m sure you have seen many recipes out there, as have I, but I wanted to share my favorite with you. I used to only tolerate Kale with lots of yogurt and berries, and I still add the yogurt when I need the extra protein in my diet, but when I am looking to cut out some of the calories I turn to this shake instead.

I have a Ninja blender, which I would definitely recommend, but any blender would work just as well. What I love about the Ninja is the single size cups that you can attach right to the blender; leaving less cleanup (This of course I love!) and the perfect serving size. Anything to make it easier!

If it’s too much work, I just won’t do it. I’m sorry!

So first, I pack that kale into the bottom….

As you can see I have almost filled the cup, but it packs down very easily so don’t worry! (If you are using a regular blender, this is a little more than a cup)

Mmm looks good right??!!

Next I add a handful of citrus fruit which I feel masks the bitter taste of the Kale perfectly! (If you love the taste of kale, then blueberries is a great light tasting berry to add here.) This time I used Pineapple, but I have also used a clementine or even just a splash of orange juice. So far I think the pineapple is my favorite!

And lastly, I add the banana and just a bit of water. (If you are using a regular blender, I would add the banana first, citrus fruit and then the Kale. The shake blends together easiest when the banana is at the bottom.) Then I attach my cup to the blender and let it go! 

And that’s it! Such an easy healthy lunch or breakfast, and we can finally get those “dark leafy greens” into our diet! According to my lose it app, this shake is about 175 calories give or take a few. (The pineapple was three calories more! haha)

The only down side to this shake, is that fruit is obviously high in sugar; but it’s so fun to experiment with and you can try all kind of different variations until you find what works for you.

But if you need an easy way to get kale’s foot in the door? Well then….here you go! Enjoy!

 

Let Them See You Worship

If you have ever visited our church, then you know that we love worship! And if you know me at all, then you have probably noticed that it is a huge part of who I am. I’ve always been a worshiper and even as a teenager I never missed an opportunity to really worship the Lord. I would sing my little heart out, dance until I couldn’t breath; it was just me and Jesus!

But now a days, it’s me, Jesus and five kids…All of the time!

So although I still love corporate worship, unless I am the one leading, there are definitely some Sundays that I am waiting for it to just end already!

Because I am holding a very heavy 3-year-old, I’ve been kicked in the butt five times, taken about 4 different potty breaks, had to “whisper” threats in my 6-year old’s ear, and given more “knock it off” looks then I can count!

But the worst part? Is that we sit in the front row, so it feels as if this is all a very embarrassing, public display! My husband is always on the drums so I get to deal with this loveliness all on my own!

I know there are some places that have separate worship for the kids, and part of me feels like that is an awesome idea! (we do have children’s church, but we don’t dismiss until after worship)

But then I remember how I learned to worship….

I have a very vivid memory of me as a child hanging on my mom, just like my girls do to me, as she stood with her eyes closed and her hands in the air. Although I’m sure her attention was pulled in six different directions, she was always an example of true worship, and I was watching her….

And then, many years later, came this moment: I was watching my daughter as she was “playing” one day. As I was spending some time with my guitar, she was pretending that she was in church. She had a baby doll in one hand and the other was in the air, and I watched as she pretended to scold another baby doll before she went back to singing. It was at that moment that I realized….

HA that is totally me!

They really are watching. 

And it was in that moment that the severity of that responsibility settled upon my shoulders. My children aren’t going to learn true worship from the worship leader, although they do play a part, and they aren’t truly going to learn the heart of God from the Sunday school teacher or the Dancers in the front of the church. I do believe that we are all living examples to those around us, and I am so thankful for the teachers we have in our church, but the person my children are watching the most, the person they see more than anyone else….is me. We as parents, are the greatest living examples our children will ever see; we are who they will inevitably follow. Good or bad, our example is what will most affect the way our children learn and grow.

I know that separate worship may sound inviting, but don’t underestimate the importance of worshiping as a family. There are many other worship leaders and people who I looked up to as a child, but I can honestly say that without my parents example, I wouldn’t be the leader that I am today.

(And I have to throw out there, my brother’s example as a worship leader! Because I catch myself sounding and looking just like him at times, even when I don’t mean to!)

So it may be hard some days, but as I watch my children begin to learn the importance of worship for themselves, I am completely overwhelmed. They don’t all worship like I do or like my husband does, but I can see that they are watching. And they don’t have to sing like me, or play the drums like their father, they are free to express their hearts in whatever way is natural to them. They don’t have to fit into a “Pentecostal” box, or dance a special jig, (Like sometimes we think we should) but God sees their hearts and they are free to be exactly who God created them to be.

If they learn anything from me, let it be that they can truly connect with God no matter who or where they are. In the midst of turmoil or stress, in the times of joy and contentment, with children in their arms or wrapped around their feet; they can still truly worship the Lord.

I may not always “feel” it, but I do try to show an expression of worship every time I enter the house of God. Not to put on a face or fool the people around me, (I know they have all seen the stress in my eyes as I walk through the door, there is no hiding that kind of stress!) but I do it because He is worthy of that expression of praise. no matter what I may be feeling or what I may be going through, He is ALWAYS worthy.

Trust me I am not perfect, there have been many Sundays when it has been a struggle to not just sit down and scowl at the praise and worship leader. (the only reason I don’t do this, is probably because sometimes that leader is me! haha) But our kids see those moments too, and those moments are just as important. Because that is life! Some days are just hard and you aren’t going to ruin your kids with a few bad days…trust me!

So if you are that mom trying to control a toddler in the middle of a very quite worship moment, or that mom glaring at your preteen with that timeless “look” trying not to disturb the people around you; then you are awesome! Keep one eye open and lift those hands high, (even if it’s only one!) sing out as loud as you can, and know that you are a beautiful example of true worship that touches the heart of God. An example of worship, forever written on your child’s heart, an example that will continue from generation to generation.

Let them see you worship! 

“Great is the Lord! He is most worthy of praise! No one can measure his greatness. Let each generation tell its children of your mighty acts; let them proclaim your power.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭145:3-4‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Nothing Can Steal My Joy…Except Maybe Winter!

Ok so not really, it shouldn’t anyway; but I can’t tell you how much happier I am with the sun shining and the sweet smell of spring in the air!

It’s funny how that first snowfall is so beautiful, with those puffy white flakes falling softly to the ground. They make you feel happy and nostalgic waiting for Christmas, presents, lights and snowball fights. But… that LAST snowfall, is like a torturous white hell! You want to cry and throw things at your window. Instead of happy feelings you are left feeling rather angry at the world and your lack of Vitamin D is severely affecting your behavior. You may be going insane!

This is probably a little dramatic, but you can’t tell me that all of you upstate New Yorker’s haven’t felt the same!

But today as the sun is shining and it’s warm enough to sit on my porch swing to drink my morning coffee, I am a much happier, nicer person! This isn’t necessarily good though…. should I really be letting my surroundings affect the way I feel? Should I be so easily transformed into a monster just because I’m cold and tired of being stuck inside all day? No I really shouldn’t, but unfortunately, this year I definitely was!

Now, I know there are some honest deficiencies that cause some very real problems. (My husband was so severely vitamin D deficient this year that he was in constant pain! Thankfully we finally got that all figured out, but it was not a fun time!) So maybe we all just needed a strong dose of vitamin D to raise our spirits! But I think often what we really need, is to shift our thoughts and focus off of the negative and on to the beauty that surrounds us.

That last snowfall… it really was beautiful, but I refused to see it that way! The time that I spent snuggled up on the couch with my three-year old, was a precious and treasured time. She goes to pre-K this year and that relationship will be forever changed; those hours of holding her in my arms will never really be the same. So did I treasure that time the way that I should have?  And what about that late winter snow storm? The sledding, fort building and snowball fights were such a thrill to my children, and I wouldn’t take that away from them for all the early springs in the world! So was it really so bad?

As happy as I am that spring is here, I don’t want to be like that man who is so easily blown and tossed by the wind. I can honestly tell you I had begun to feel as if I were like the walking dead. I wasn’t even depressed, I was just an emotional vagabond you might say; walking  around aimlessly, feeling as if my emotions had no real home. I think that fight is real no matter who you are, but when you are a stay at home mom it is especially trying. When you have no real connection with the outside world, when your kids get sick and you’re stuck cleaning up vomit or runny noses. When your husband works hard and although you love him for it, you feel alone most of the time. It can be very hard to not become cold, calloused and a bit mechanical in the every day.

But just like the spring has brought a fresh and beautiful scent to the world; like the trees that have begun to show life and the blossoms of daffodils and tulips that have broken through the barren ground. Just like the babbling brooks that have broken free from their icy prisons and the birds have begun to sing their beautiful songs; so too, have I begun to feel the awakening of spring in my heart. Not just because the seasons have changed in the natural, but because His joy has been shed abroad on my heart. Because I see now, that I can choose to stay in winter for the foreseeable future, or I can take hold of the life and joy that Jesus paid for. I can see my world through the eyes of Spring, through the eyes of that life-giving power as it breaks through the hard barren ground and brings a beauty that is incomparable.

You may feel as though you’ve spent years in the cold and barren winter, struggling to find any real life in the world around you; but let this Spring bring an awakening to your heart as it has mine. Let go of the sorrow, let go of the cold that you’ve let define you. Look around at the beauty that surrounds you…. Spring is here!

 The spring comes slowly down this way; but the great thing is that the corner has been turned. There is, of course, this difference, that in the natural spring the crocus cannot choose whether it will respond or not. We can. We have the power either of withstanding the spring, and sinking back into the cosmic winter, or of going on into those ‘high mid-summer pomps’ in which our Leader, the Son of man, already dwells, and to which He is calling us. It remains with us to follow or not, to die in this winter, or to go on into that spring and that summer.

The Grand Miracle – Part 2

C.S. Lewis, “The Grand Miracle” God in the Dock

Confessions of a Real Life Mom

What is up with that “perfect mom” image we all try to maintain? You know what I mean? The only image we allow to show through on our social media; where we share all of our wonderful Mommy moments, but rarely the awful ones. We make sure that EVERY picture we post is hiding any affects of motherhood with filters, makeup and perfect angles.

Or what about that persona we wear when we take our kids anywhere, praying that they won’t rat us out! We have our lists, we have our snacks…we are in complete control! I sometimes look at that mom and think,

Are you always this wonderful? Do you always look that good?

But then, I see it in your face fellow-mom, when your child is screaming in the middle of the checkout line; (we control NOTHING!) I see the horror in your eyes as you try too keep that image up. I hear your thoughts, because I’ve thought them too…

Keep smiling.

Don’t let every one see you lose it!

Just five more minutes until I make it to the car.

Oh my God kid! Shut. Up!

But let’s be real here,

I gave up on that “super-mom” persona about three kids ago! It’s just too hard too keep up with! Yes I’m still horrified when my child starts screaming or sassing me in the middle of the grocery store and I end up dragging them out kicking and screaming; But I’m a mom of five kids so I’m not kidding anyone!

And I don’t want all the new mommas out there thinking they need to keep up with my “perfect mommy” image, because it’s not reality. So, let’s just throw that image out the window shall we? Let me tell you what it’s like to be a mom… a real mom.

It’s confession time!

I just let my 3-year-old eat four packs of fruit snacks for breakfast because I wasn’t paying attention! She just kept bringing them to me and I was all like:

Oh another one? Ok sure!

Wait, what?

The other day, I let my daughter get on the bus with her shoes half on. I laughed as I watched her try to run!

I have screamed at my kids… like really screamed at them. I mean crazy mom, I’m trying not to hurt you moments, that would scare the crap out of a grown man! (No one believes this of me but it’s totally true!) Unfortunately, I have a few offspring that apparently take this as a challenge….😡

I let my children eat sugar, and I sometimes let them drink coffee.

Some days, I look at all the stuff that needs to be done in my house and I read a book instead. Seriously a whole novel…in one day!

(Come on, don’t look at me like that! Not every day people!)

I have left my kids in their own pee when they woke me up at 3 in the morning. If they don’t care, then neither do I! (I’m going to have to clean them up in the morning anyway!)

I’ve lost my kids in the grocery store more than once…I can hear them calling me but where the heck are they?!?!

Sometimes bed time is precious and beautiful; full of hugs, kisses and heartfelt prayers. Other times… it’s full of fights, crying and me finally saying:

Just watch tv and go to sleep already!!

I have been so tired that I’ve completely forgotten where I was going! I was just driving along and suddenly….

Wait! Where am I going right now??

School? Church? The store?

I’m totally confused!

I’m tired most of the time. You think that’s going to end once your children are out of the baby stage, but it doesn’t! I just got woken up three times last night! (Not to mention our stupid cat who sits outside my door crying because she’s lonely. This is why I don’t really care for animals, I have enough children to deal with thank you!)

I don’t keep every drawing and hand written sentiment, but it makes me a little sad every time I throw one away.

I have left clothes in the washer for days! (I’m sorry but every mother does this!)

Speaking of laundry… I don’t often fold socks, they just end up in a basket somewhere! Fend for yourselves my family!

Sometimes I don’t mop my floors for weeks! 🙈Sweep, yes! Mop…maybe later!

(Even now, I am worrying about what you think of me! But I started this, so there’s no point in stopping now!)

When everyone is asleep, I still check to see if my kids are breathing; even though they are WAY past the SIDS phase! My oldest is 11 and I even check on him sometimes.

Today was the first time in this school year that I’ve actually remembered it was Micahs day to bring snack. Seriously I NEVER remember! I’m sorry to those poor hungry children in his class that probably go snackless every time our turn rolls around.

I cook the same meals over and over because they are the only ones my kids will eat. And when they don’t eat it this is me…

Sometimes quite literally! I’m pretty sure I’ve used those exact words. 😬

I’ve also said:

I’m not going to ask again!!!

This is your last chance!

You’re grounded!

I’m going to beat you!

Are you kidding me??!!

Why do you do this to me?!

I can’t do this!

I’m done with you!

Well, let’s just say I’ve said them much more than I would like to admit.

(One time I asked my daughter, Why do you always ruin everything?? I cried after…a lot, and I made sure she knew that she most definitely does NOT ruin everything! And as a very important side note: you really DO have to watch what you say! Once those word leave your mouth, you can’t take them back.)

Some days, I cringe when my kids want to sit with to me. Other days….

WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME ANYMORE????

I miss my “before-baby-body”, I really do.  I know, “Love your curves”, “You are strong” and all those lines we give, but come on! I was so skinny!

The only reason I’m not skinnier than I am, is because after cooking for every one else cooking for me seems like way too much work! I always end up eating the chicken nuggets or a cookie, because well, who doesn’t want to eat cookies?? Lets see, healthy choice? Or chocolate?

Cue kid freaking out……..Chocolate it is then!

And let’s talk about what it’s like to bake with your children. You know those pictures you see of the children baking with their mom? Every one is smiling, and everything looks perfect. You think, oh yes I can do that, it will be such a great memory!

HA! That’s a load of crap right there! Maybe if there is only one of them, but if you have more than one, this is what it looks like….

“NO it’s my turn!”

“No you got to put in the sugar, it’s MY turn!”

Flour all over the floor, egg shells in the batter, butter smeared on the walls, lots of shoving and crying until finally mommy says,

NEVERMIND! Just let me do it!

But hey, we’re making memories!!!

Listen, it’s not all like this; I have had some great “super-mom” days and I know that I’m a good mother, but we can’t be good all the time! I’ve had people tell me, “You are so calm and put together!” But on the inside I cringe because that’s just not always true!

And some days I even wonder….

Can I do anything besides this anymore??

Taking care of babies has been such a huge part of me for the past 11 years, It feels like my brain has been rewired. Almost like if it doesn’t have to do with raising kids my brain threw it out a long time ago! It’s like that episode of sponge bob….

Seriously, sometimes I even forget my own name!

But like I said, not all days are hard, many of them are wonderful! And I wouldn’t trade any of the bad days for all the good days in the world. Because if there were no bad days, it wouldn’t be real. Parenting is messy, hard, beautiful, wonderful, rewarding and tiring. But mostly….it’s just messy! 😉

Ok, I’m done confessing! Your turn!

What it’s like to be the most popular person in the world…

Did I say in the world? I mean in my children’s world! This memory came up on my Facebook page this morning and I thought… yes this is still true! I was just yelling at my children last night saying,

Stop fighting over me!

I never thought I would say those words to anyone! I thought for sure though that if I did, I would find some satisfaction at being fought over! But some days I feel like I’m being pulled in five different directions! (Actually, that is exactly what it’s like!)

I can’t tell you how many times I find myself completely surrounded by every person in my household, (sometimes even My husband!) and every SINGLE one wants to sit BY ME! (or on me, or as close as they can possible get!) I’m frustrated and tired and I finally just yell…

Forget it, gosh darn it!! I’ll just stand!!!

They each look at me in disappointment with those big brown eyes and pouty lips, But how the heck am I suppose to make room for all of them! I have, many a night, sat with one in my lap and one on each side, but that means the boys are left out in the cold! Poor boys! Ian usually just shrugs it off and Micah will snuggle up next to Daddy (I think he may prefer that most nights anyway 😉)  while I am stuck with Abby sticking her feet in my face! And why is it that when they want to sit with Daddy, it’s usually only one at a time; but when they want mommy it’s a brawl!

Ok besides the snuggle time, (which I honestly do love!) kids are just so stinkin’ NEEDY!  They need their butts wiped, their homework done, help brushing their teeth, breakfast lunch and dinner! They need, they need, they need….and they need it all from me!

Now don’t get me wrong my husband helps…. and those moments when they want Daddy to put them to bed….

Hallelujah!!!!

But usually, I get asked for ten hugs, twenty kisses and five glasses of water before I can even leave the room! Sigh, I collapse on the couch every night thinking,

If any one asks me for anything right now I’m going to scream!

Unknowing husband: Hey babe! Can you get me some water?

…. I don’t want to be popular anymore!

But then, there are these moments….

Moments like right now, when I’m holding my “baby” asleep in my arms; realizing she is not a baby anymore. Moments that I take a breath and remember, I won’t be the most important person in their lives forever. When I see how tall they are growing and how old they look, and I know that it won’t be long before I can’t even pick up my “baby” anymore. Moments that I look into my son’s eyes and see a young man instead of the baby I remember him to be.  Moments when one of them will ask me to kiss a “boo boo”, or for just one more hug…..

I hear that small voice pleading….Lexie, don’t miss these moments! Don’t let them pass by without realizing how precious they are. Don’t live  your life waiting for your children to grow up, but live it watching them grow.

I know these days can be tiring and hard; I know like me, sometimes you may wish you had just one moment to yourself. But these years go by so fast, and some day we will be wishing to be needed like we are now.

So in spite of all the craziness, I’m going to keep these moments in my heart because really….being popular isn’t so bad.

To my babies….

Some day, you won’t need my kisses to make the hurt feel better.

Some day, you won’t wake me in the night because you heard the thunder.

And someday, I won’t need to move over to make room for you.

So invade my space and take up day, because I’m not waiting for… someday.

My DIY Haircutting FAIL

My ends were dry…like the Sahara desert dry! So dry that no matter what I did, my hair looked like a big frizzy mess! We had a conference coming up and I just needed a trim, but five kids and the week off of school meant no salon for me!

I had seen these diy hair cuts on pinterest and knew that a friend of mine cut her own hair, (her hair always looks good!) So I toyed with the idea for days. I would throw my hair up in a pony tail, grab the scissors, get ready to cut and then….totally chicken out!
Well, on the first day of conference I was fed up! I was looking in the mirror at my very dry hair and suddenly felt a bravery like I’ve never known before. (Or maybe stupidity I’m not sure!) Whatever craziness came over me, the scissors were in my hands and before I knew it I had cut off almost an inch of hair!

Ok this is going to be good! I pulled out the pony tail to see my “great new layered hairstyle”…….a giggle escapes. (I wish I had taken pictures but I’m too spontaneous for that!) hmmm… Ok I can fix this! I laugh again…nope, I don’t think I can fix this. I trim some more, trying to blend those not-so-subtle layers together but I’m just making it worse. (More laughing)

Ok….ok don’t panic! Now I’m panicking, and I’m laughing again! I’m picturing myself seeing all these people I haven’t seen in a year with butchered hair…

Oh Hi! It’s so great to see you again! Oh what’s wrong with my hair??? I don’t know what you’re talking about.

I frantically start messaging anyone I can think of that could fix my disaster within the next few hours; but until then my hair stays in a ponytail because I don’t want to look at it! (I have to tell myself…NO don’t try it again!) I finally hear back from my friend and head to her house. She takes my hair out and says,

What did you try to do???

Me: Don’t ask! Just fix it!

I’m pretty embarrassed at this point but thankfully all is well. It may not be the hair cut I was looking for but that’s what I get for trying to DIY my own hair! At least my ends aren’t dry anymore haha!

So if you are brave, (Or stupid 😬) you should give it a try! Here’s the link that I used diyhaircut. But, should you decide to give it a try here are a few things to keep in mind…

• There are a lot of tutorials out there, this may not be the best one. So do more research than I did to find the right one for your hair. (My friend said the one she does you have to hold your head upside down! I knew I should have tried that one!!)
• If you don’t have relatively long hair, this may not work for you…I think the layers would have fallen better had my hair been longer.
• Don’t hesitate! I couldn’t get through my thick hair, and I made a mess of it!
• You definitely need GOOD hair scissors!
• Be brave, don’t be stupid! haha

But hey! If you don’t try, I guess you’ll never know! 😉 You can always get it fixed like I did, and to be honest…at least I had a good laugh. And thankfully my hair looks good now thanks to Caryn Wilkins! (Although still frizzy! Thank you winter!)

But seriously, lesson learned?? Just go get a haircut! 😂

How does she do it?

Have you ever watched that mom walk out of a store with a bunch of kids trailing behind her and thought…..

Whoa! That’s a lot of kids! How does she do it??

You probably have because I rarely go out anymore without being asked that very question! 

How do you do it???

Well, I don’t want to keep all of you wondering so I’m going to tell you how I do it! Are you ready?? You don’t want to miss this divine wisdom, so pay attention! Ok, here it goes…

I JUST DO. 

Wow, right?

 I know…You’re probably thinking,

What?? There has to be more than that!

Yes I suppose there is, but if you really love your children (And I really do!) you just do it!

I can do what I need to do because, there is no other choice. I can’t put them back, I can’t take them out of the picture, I can’t ignore their beautiful little eyes and chubby little cheeks! 

There are some days that I have to literally, take life one minute at a time! When I have to remind myself how much these children mean to me, how important they are to the future, and how it’s our responsibility to raise them. Days when I find myself completely overwhelmed with the every day craziness that always accompanies children, whether you have one or ten! But that’s when I look into their eyes and I see that they need me. They NEED me! They are not just sucking me dry to be annoying, they need me more than I need coffee! And that’s saying a lot! 😉

There are so many nuggets of wisdom that I could share with you, and maybe in the future I will, but for now I want you to remember one thing:

You can do this! You were MADE to do this.

Maybe you are a new mom who is holding your beautiful baby for the first time, realizing that you are now responsible for another human being. Maybe you are in the mist of expanding your family and thinking, “can I do this AGAIN??”. Maybe you are in the middle of those “terrible two’s” and you think your child may actually be mentally unstable! (Let’s be honest, they kind of are! And I was going to say “terrific two’s” but I don’t want to lie!)

Take it from a mom who has been there,

God doesn’t give us this huge responsibility and then leave us on our own. If you are a mother (or a father) then you are exactly who your child needs you to be. (I know there are extreme circumstances, but God never makes mistakes.😉) So I’m going to say it again, YOU CAN do this! You want to know how I know? 

Because I can! And if I can, then so can you. And if your parenting doesn’t look the same as mine or that “perfect mother” down the street, (trust me, she doesn’t think she’s perfect) it doesn’t matter. Your child needs YOU, because YOU are who God gave them to. 

So take a minute to look into those precious little eyes. I guarantee you will find the strength to make it through this day, Because there is so much more love in those little eyes than you could ever imagine. That love overwhelms me every single day; When their sleepy faces greet me in the morning, when I kiss their sweet little cheeks goodnight and when they wrap those little arms around my neck refusing to let me go. I’m so overwhelmed with love that I can’t imagine life any other way. 

So, that is it! THAT is how I do it…I love them; there is no other choice. Now you may look at me and ask, “HOW do you do it?” But all I can think is, “How could I not?” ❤️

“Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭127:3‬ ‭NLT‬‬